"lol" doesn't mean they actually laughed out loud.
hate to be the one to break this to you, but trying to be a guido won't get you laid.
when someone says, "you don’t wanna know," consider the fact that you might really not want to know.
if studying for you means half an hour of reading followed by two hours of internet, you're doing it wrong.
if you set your status to "text me, I'm bored," you will almost always hear from the one person you don't want to talk to.
"liking" thousands of facebook groups because "omg they're so relatable!" will make people hate you.
liking all of someone's facebook pictures will get you blocked, not laid.